I have never known what it is to be out like a light, (other than when I fainted and knocked myself out on the toilet a few years ago), sleep does not come easily. I am either awake, or I am acting as though I am awake and trying desperately to search for a missing item by opening and closing drawers (whilst actually asleep), only to wake myself up in the process. My husband loves these nights. It must be like sleeping next to a life size wind up toy – you’re never quite sure that its completely out of action and a small tap might be all thats needed to propel it across the floor, garbling and flailing wildly. I prefer this to his version – that its like being in a movie about the paranormal.
Last night was no exception. Tired and desperate for the warm tendrils of sleep to wrap themselves around me, I lay in bed listening to voices talking outside. After what seemed like a lifetime I wondered if I should get up and shout at then to move along, it was really quite odd anyway, that they were babbling away in snatches about cleaning, health and…..my kids? !
I realised the voices weren’t outside, they were in my house, worse still all 5 belonged to me and at least 1 of them was now screaming at the others to SHUT UP!!! I resisted the urge to roll over and see if the book on Mercury I’d just bought had downloaded to my kindle. I have learnt that just like a petulant child, insomnia is best handled by refusing to give it any attention. Eventually it gets bored and slides away, maybe after an hour, maybe two. Sometimes it comes back to nudge you from your dreams, at times with a jolt. It can be a jealous and unforgiving sibling of sleep, no matter how much magnesium you throw at it.
But in spite of broken sleep, today is a good day. Things are coming together.