This is my favourite place. It is never the same, constantly changing and yet always the same in it’s ability to instil a sense of calm and gratitude.
Earlier I had bimbled around a 10 mile road race, berating myself on my inability to attack the hills, which felt far steeper than the ones I later strolled up, questioning my goals, my fitness ( or lack of) and my sanity. A negative spiral is like a freshly waxed helter skelter, once you’ve stepped off the top and sat on your sack – its all downhill, frighteningly quickly. Mentally at least.
After I had spent some time walking, reflecting and enjoying my special place, I decided that actually it takes some strength to continue on and finish something you are hating. (Not to mention it being far quicker than walking).
I have always tried hard not to compare myself to others, rather use them as role models, but I have never succeeded in my efforts to ignore my past self and enjoy the present me for what I am. Being competitive is a double edged sword that drives me on, pushing me to be my absolute best and simultaneously tearing strips off me for failing to be better than I was yesterday.
Today I realised that being better than yesterday is not about being faster or fitter, it is about being better at treating myself well. It’s so easy to forget to extend the kindness we give others to ourselves.